Do you think my characters sound mary sue-ish?

Elizabeth Skyera Newbays- Goes by Skyera because her step sister shares her first name. Very quirky. In high school. Has two close friends, Robbie and Christine. Very eccentric and odd. Wheres bright colors. Has red hair, pale skin, very small, green eyes. Rarely wears makeup. Strong, stands up for herself. Independent. Loud, and sometimes thought of as annoying. Lives with step father and step sister because her mother is dead. Falls in love with Kaison.



Kaison- From another dimension, he somehow ended up on earth. Doesn't know much about our society, like a child discovering it all. Very kind hearted, but every now and then he loses control of his emotion and has fits of anger or depression. Falls in love with Skyera. Very handsome but odd looking.



Christine Gianne Brown- Skyera's best friend. Super nice but is taken advantage of alot and is very quiet unlike Skyera. Nicknamed Chrisi at times. Straight black hair, glasses.



Elizabeth Leigha Berine- Skyera's step sister. Not particuarly mean, but can be very selfish and superficial. Has been spoiled by her father. Blond, tan, pretty, tall.



Henry Berine- Elizabeths's father and Skyera's step father. Has good intentions but isn't very smart and is easily fooled by his daughter.



Triston Sean Leenopes- Skyera's friend who is secretly in love with her. Is nicknames Robbie at times. Very nice and is on the football team. No one understands why he spends so much time around Christine and Skyera.



Peteron Raize- Leader of organization who know Kaison s not human and wants to destroy him and Skyera because of her association with him.Do you think my characters sound mary sue-ish?
They sound somewhat fine to me, though they all seem a little typical and cliche, you know?

Like, the bad guy. I guess it's a fairly good reason that he wants to destroy Kasion because he's not human, but that happens all the time. At least make sure to give the bad guy some character development too and a good reason why he doesn't like non-humans and stuff like that. 'Just because' is not a reason.

Then the father is a little typical too, by being easily fooled. But, at the same time, I'm going to assume he's not that central of a character so he won't matter that much.

Step-sisters always seem to be evil too. I know you said she's not particularly mean, but she still has some of those same traits.

Then there's the best friend in secretly in love. That's overdone too. You didn't really give him any flaws though in that describing paragraph, so I don't know? He could become a Mary-Sue (or Gary-Stu, whatever).



How can Kaison be handsome by odd looking? I think that's a little confusing.

Since he seems to be the love interest of the character, you gotta be extra careful with him because whenever there's a love interest, writers (especially first time writers) tend to make him seem like the perfect guy. I've been guilty of that too, but I'm slowly working out of that habit.



And you have to make sure that when Elizabeth becomes loud and annoying, that it is actually annoying and that you aren't just saying that so it seems like she has an actual flaw.



I hope I helped. :)



EDIT: Oops, I forgot to mention one crucial thing.

Make the characters develop. They have to be developed throughout the story. Things have to affect them, and each character will react in their own way, and because of some experiences, they may end up being a different person.

Just make sure that you make them real while you are writing. You gave us a description here, and most of them seem to have at least one flaw, but while writing, you may start to stray and they may become a Mary-Sue. Or you end up making that flaw seem like it's a good thing. Flaws are flaws, they aren't good things. Chances are, they'll create problems.



Try searching up some Mary-Sue tests online. They aren't always one hundred perfect accurate, but they could help.



Another edit because your edit:

(Wow, I'm sorry if I'm talking too much on here. I just tend to go on and on, and then I realize I forget one small thing and then I end up writing a thousand more paragraphs).

But, that makes sense if he (the step-dad) isn't important. So I think he'll be fine. Just make sure to make him not too typical. Even if he isn't that prominent in the story overall, one minor character that does, well, dumb things could ruin a whole story.

And that's also a really good thing about Skyera. You have to think of characters almost like real people, and even if you may think of the character as your baby, you can't make them be perfect.



By the way, I hope I don't seem too harsh. I don't mean to be harsh at all. I'm just trying to offer some help.Do you think my characters sound mary sue-ish?
i'd say yes, fairly mary-sueish but people on here have told me that i dont understand the meaning of mary-sue (i think i do :P) and ive been told that my character is mary sueish when all i sed was that she had blonde hair lol i changed it to russet. i think your characters are good and its your opinion that counts:P please read mine:

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>



Dee xxDo you think my characters sound mary sue-ish?
Here's a Mary Sue test: http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysu鈥?/a>



After skimming through your character descriptions, I would say it looks like they're all Mary Sues / Gary Stues. This is because none of them have any real flaws. What are their faults? What's wrong with them?



They could use a bit more work, definitely.

Give them more depth.



Good luck.